Mom

Yesterday, Jan. 5, 2018 was a day we expected to come, but yet we didn’t know it would be that date.  My mom went peacefully to the Lord’s place He had prepared for her.  She passed away about 5 am in the morning and dad was with her at her side comforting her.  She had a 2 year 3 week battle with dementia and an 8 month battle of breast cancer. Mom was 71 years, 8 months, 18 days old.  But, she was always young at heart.  Her heart was also made of gold.  She gave everyone a chance with her.  If you were good enough to be a friend of mine, or our sons, you were good enough for her.  She adopted everyone.  She was mom to everyone.  She was grandma to my son’s friends.  She was a caregiver at heart.  It started as a caregiver to a couple who had been married for 75 years, got her LVN certification.  Then my mom, my caregiver when I was a baby.  She knew something wasn’t right, and because of her, I am here today.  She was my mom, my best friend and my teacher.  She taught me how to sew, how to cook, and how to be a good person.  She was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on.  And no matter how old I got, if I needed mom, she was there.  I am blessed to have a mom like her.  I pray that I have become half the mom to my son as she was to me.  But she was not just my mom.  She was my husband’s mom.  When he needed a mom, she was there.  She did not hesitate.  She opened the house to him when he needed a place to live.  How many parents would do that when they are dating their 16 yr old daughter?  Not many, I know that.  Mom was one of a kind lady.  Heart of gold, give the shirt off her back, give you her last dollar.  She was one person I could always count on.

She wanted to travel so bad, but was unable to.  So, she traveled through me.  I would show her pictures of our travels, I would call her when we would stop for the night.  I would even brag about certain food we had lol.  The best conversation I had was when I called from this location._DSC0133

Outside the Chinese Theater in Hollywood, CA standing at John Wayne’s foot prints.  I swear I could hear mom just beaming without being on the phone.  I did that for mom. That was one thing I know she wished she could have seen.  One of her favorite I Love Lucy episodes, and mine too was the one with John Wayne in it.

I miss her, I really do.  But, she hasn’t fully been here for a while so I mourned the loss of her from the dementia a while back.  I mourned losing her from the cancer.  And I rejoice in the fact that she is now my guardian angel now, as she was in life.  She is free from pain.  She is free of the not being able to remember.  She is free from the diabetes. She is whole.  She is who God created us to be.

Today was a day full of phone calls.  It was a busy day.  It was hard not to break down.  I had to make calls to tell friends I haven’t talked to in a while.  I had to track down some too.  I have had to ask on behalf of dad about people being pallbearers. Every response has been “it would be an honor”.  And for that has made this whole process easier.  I know I had mom with me here today.  I let the dogs out this morning, and for some reason I looked up.  I saw a female cardinal, and when I looked up, it looked down at me.  I admit, I cried.  But I know it was her saying she was ok.  Its amazing when the ones you depended on the most to help you get through things, when they are gone, where you find the strength.  That cardinal was my strength today.  Tomorrow, I am sure it will be something else.

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