This year has been an adventure. It has had many amazing highs, to some pretty brutal lows. It has taught me some amazing life lessons, who I can be and it has taught me some pretty harsh realities. I want to say I am putting all of 2017 behind me because of how overall hard it has been, but I can’t. I can say 2018 will be full of self discovery.
Over the last couple of years, I have taken care of mom. Taken her to doctor appointments, brought up hard questions to her doctor, and got some pretty hard answers. But, I have learned also at the same time patience, taking time to enjoy the little things. But, the last couple of weeks I have learned one thing especially. I have forgotten who I was two years ago. I have to find out who I am again. I still do my photography but not like I use to. I use to take pictures almost everyday. I also cross stitch, but I use to do it a lot. I use to bake and make candy. But, I don’t. I miss everything that I remember doing. I want to start doing things for me, for my family. I pray that this coming year, I can.
This year has been rough, but it has shaped me into someone that I never thought I could be. Strong. I don’t think I have ever been as strong as I am. Yes, I have cried. I have cried many tears. But, in those weak moments, I have become stronger. I have learned that even in the darkest times, there is always a glimmer of a blessing that is being bestowed on us. Today, New Year’s Eve, was one of those days. I am blessed beyond belief that I have what I have.
I have a husband who loves me dearly. I have an amazing son. I have a dad who loves mom beyond measure. I have an uncle that I have found that is still loves his family even many years of lost contact. I have family that who support me even over the endless miles between us. I have friends who support me and make sure I am ok, even the ones I have never met. So, as crappy as this year has been, I can say it has been full of realizations, both positive and negative. And that, I am grateful for.