This year has been an adventure. It has had many amazing highs, to some pretty brutal lows. It has taught me some amazing life lessons, who I can be and it has taught me some pretty harsh realities.  I want to say I am putting all of 2017 behind me because of how overall hard it has been, but I can’t. I can say 2018 will be full of self discovery.

Over the last couple of years, I have taken care of mom.  Taken her to doctor appointments, brought up hard questions to her doctor, and got some pretty hard answers.  But, I have learned also at the same time patience, taking time to enjoy the little things.  But, the last couple of weeks I have learned one thing especially.  I have forgotten who I was two years ago.  I have to find out who I am again.  I still do my photography but not like I use to.  I use to take pictures almost everyday.  I also cross stitch, but I use to do it a lot.  I use to bake and make candy.  But, I don’t.  I miss everything that I remember doing.  I want to start doing things for me, for my family.  I pray that this coming year, I can.

This year has been rough, but it has shaped me into someone that I never thought I could be.   Strong.  I don’t think I have ever been as strong as I am.  Yes, I have cried.  I have cried many tears. But, in those weak moments, I have become stronger.  I have learned that even in the darkest times, there is always a glimmer of a blessing that is being bestowed on us.  Today, New Year’s Eve, was one of those days.  I am blessed beyond belief that I have what I have.

I have a husband who loves me dearly.  I have an amazing son.  I have a dad who loves mom beyond measure.  I have an uncle that I have found that is still loves his family even many years of lost contact.  I have family that who support me even over the endless miles between us.  I have friends who support me and make sure I am ok, even the ones I have never met.  So, as crappy as this year has been, I can say it has been full of realizations, both positive and negative.  And that, I am grateful for.

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