I can’t remember if I said before, I was having foot surgery. Well, I had it on the 28th, and its going to be a long recovery. No standing on my foot for 4 weeks, then after that, light weight. Which means I can’t care for mom.
Well, I think I also said that I was getting respite care and I cannot say enough thank goodness it all came together yesterday. Visiting Angels is who our respite care is going through. I used to work for them and they are a great company. Between respite care and my dad adjusting his schedule, things are going to be easy for me to heal, not worry about mom, and it also gives mom and dad valuable time together. Mom depends on him so much, yes, mom depends on me too, but she doesn’t like putting to much on me because of my limitations.
I have to say one thing though. I have prayed and prayed about mom being taken care of. To think that I was going to have to put her in a nursing home for this, it would have been terrifying for me now looking back. I didn’t realize how much I really needed her here. The night I was in the hospital from my surgery, I really missed having her around. I talked to mom on the phone yesterday before I got home and it actually hurt me not being able to go in and see mom because I am so limited.
I had my post op appointment today and when we got home, dad asked if I could wait to go in because mom wanted to see me. Mom has a really hard time walking and she came out so we could talk. While I have been dealing with everything letting up to the surgery, my actual surgery, and now recovery, I have seen my mom. My sweet, caring mom. The mom I have had all my life. My mom use to be a nurse, and seeing that side of my mom when I needed it the most, its just made me be able to relax more so I can focus on me.
Before I went to surgery, I wrote a letter to mom telling her that its ok to go. I don’t want her to feel like she has to hang on for me. But, right now, having her here, I can’t imagine if she went while I am healing. She has had a mix of good and bad days. I know the break through pain she has been having is getting worse. I know her life is coming to an end. I just pray that when she does go, its at night, after a good day. Like today. Walking outside just to see me and talk for a few minutes. She doesn’t realize how much that meant to me.
Things have come together for one solid reason. Prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. I know God made everything come together. I have had my faith renewed by all of this coming together. My next prayer.. for my healing to be speedy and when its mom’s time, she goes peacefully in her sleep.