This week has been an interesting week. Monday I had a podiatry appointment for both my feet, but was mainly for my right one. I have a “botched” amputation and its been causing me more problems the last few years than I would like to admit. The doctor agreed with me that it is time to get it fixed. So, today I got the call for a surgery date. Nov. 28. That is 2 1/2 weeks from now.
So what am I going to do with mom?? I have no idea. Honestly, dad needs a long break and I am not going to be able to care for her. 6-8 weeks recovery time and I cannot put pressure on it. Mom understands all this, but she is also getting to a point that worries me. Her pain is high today. It makes me wonder about putting her in a nursing home for a temporary basis, but I have a feeling that it would be a permanent one. If her pain continues like it is, I think it will be better for her to be there all the time. It also scares me that if I do have to put her in a home, that she will go down hill fast. I have seen it, and I don’t want that guilt if she goes because I put her in a home because I couldn’t take care of her. It scares the hell out of me to be honest.
So, there is that then there is my family… husband and son. I am a wife and mother also. I have to figure out meals, cleaning, and everything else. I have so much reorganizing to do before then to make it easier for me. I have stuff coming in so hopefully I can get it all done before then. And my anxiety is through the roof. Mom, here, and just general surgery. Weather doesn’t help either. Its cold and raining.
I just pray for peace and everything to come together easily. I know it will. I am giving it all to God and I know he has control of this.