Everything At Once

This week has been an interesting week.  Monday I had a podiatry appointment for both my feet, but was mainly for my right one.  I have a “botched” amputation and its been causing me more problems the last few years than I would like to admit.  The doctor agreed with me that it is time to get it fixed.  So, today I got the call for a surgery date.  Nov. 28.  That is 2 1/2 weeks from now.

So what am I going to do with mom??  I have no idea.  Honestly, dad needs a long break and I am not going to be able to care for her.  6-8 weeks recovery time and I cannot put pressure on it.  Mom understands all this, but she is also getting to a point that worries me.  Her pain is high today.  It makes me wonder about putting her in a nursing home for a temporary basis, but I have a feeling that it would be a permanent one.  If her pain continues like it is, I think it will be better for her to be there all the time.  It also scares me that if I do have to put her in a home, that she will go down hill fast.  I have seen it, and I don’t want that guilt if she goes because I put her in a home because I couldn’t take care of her.  It scares the hell out of me to be honest.

So, there is that then there is my family… husband and son.  I am a wife and mother also.  I have to figure out meals, cleaning, and everything else.  I have so much reorganizing to do before then to make it easier for me.  I have stuff coming in so hopefully I can get it all done before then.  And my anxiety is through the roof.  Mom, here, and just general surgery.  Weather doesn’t help either.  Its cold and raining.

I just pray for peace and everything to come together easily.  I know it will.  I am giving it all to God and I know he has control of this.

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